A Hymn for Haters

Almost pure satire😂

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hi there, my name is Lucas Parker Doomhao, and I'm a car carring member of Professional Haters of the United States of Amnesia. You may not know this, but as a whole, we're the fastest growing fringe group in this US of blue states, mostly. Having recently overtaken fact checkers and tear downers in almost every poll known to pollsters, you will find us at every political rally. There's usually a secret checkpoint known only to society members. That's where we assemble and are given our hating instructions for the day. Who to hate, what to hate, why we hate it makes our hating lives very, very easy. We also monitor certain radio talk shows, especially those hosted by bigots, cynics, podcasters, and inflammators. It's a fertile ground for some of our starter hate ideas. An exciting development recently is that we now have our very own section of most, if not all, reputable bookstores. Shelves and shelves of helpful tomes abound, such as hating with intensity or how to be a convincing hater, or haters odyssey. Check it out next time you're bookshopping. We've also been known to infiltrate social media. Like us on HateBook, follow us on Splitter, Voyeur us on Snapchatter or Instagram. And thanks to bloggers like Hate This, many wannabe haters have found a voice. Podcasts and vlogs help keep our emotions at a hate fever pitch. Our society also sponsors Haters Mingles, a secure website where fellow haters can meet and hook up with equally aspiring haters without ending up hating each other. So if you have an event you would like to spice up with some targeted hating, call us at 1333-666-9999. And remember, haters unite. All you have to lose is your self-respect.